Hey Envious Penguin,
Jealousy is a new guest in our home, isn’t it?
Not the loud, dramatic kind but the quiet, confusing one that sneaks in when you see someone with a shinier phone, getting picked for a school skit, or flashing a tablet that doesn’t glitch every 10 minutes.
When you were younger, sharing came naturally to you. You’d offer toys to cousins without blinking, gave up swings to younger kids, and let friends play with your blocks like it was no big deal.
But now, something’s shifted. You’ve become a little territorial, especially about me.
Suddenly, maa isn’t to be shared with bapa, grandparents, or even work. And while you’ll still lend your books and pencils, I’ve seen those tiny flares of envy when another kid flaunts a new device or wins a school prize.
And let’s talk about that Samsung tablet, the dinosaur from 2012 we’ve dragged into the smart age. I know it’s frustrating when classmates bring iPhones and sleek tablets to the playground. I heard the sarcasm, “Maybe we’re poor?”, “I have running shoes, but no gadgets… priorities, Maa.”
Oof. Those words stung. Not because you were wrong, but because I understood the emotion underneath.
You weren’t being rude; you were just trying to make sense of what felt unfair. You wanted to belong.
Truth is, I didn’t sit down to talk about it the way you may have wanted. I slipped into my usual mode — gave you the logic, pros and cons, and left the rest to your smart brain to figure out.
But even smart brains have soft spots, and yours was feeling left out. And yes, gadgets feel like entry point to the “cool bro club” these days.
Meanwhile, Maa wasn’t immune to jealousy either.
There were moments I looked at other kids, easy-going, adaptable, following routines without question — and thought, “Why is everything a discussion with my child?”
I saw medals and trophies, perfect handwriting sheets, extra badges on uniforms — and yes, there was a tiny pang. But then I’d remember, I’m raising a human, not a project. A living, thinking, dreaming, messy work-in-progress of a person and not a checklist or a brag sheet.
I even felt it when I saw people heading to fancy summer camps or vacations abroad while you were hopping between nani’s house and your cousin’s home. There were times I worried you were missing out, that maybe you’d feel less than for not having stamped passports or sandy beach photos.
But now I know — those mango-stained afternoons, those homemade snacks, those sweaty backyard cricket matches and bedtime stories under old ceiling fans — they’ll stay with you forever. They are your foundation.
Your bapa and I? We have plenty of certificates tucked into old folders. They meant something once, and maybe they gave us confidence… but they didn’t define us. Just like a tablet doesn’t define you.
And yes, I’ve noticed how instant gratification has crept in. You’re pushing for a puzzle delivery because your friends ordered slime and snacks via an app. Quick commerce has made “waiting” feel like suffering. But some things are worth the wait, and I’m stubborn about that.
You may have outgrown story metaphors, but you still value honesty. So here it is.
Jealousy is natural. It doesn’t make you bad. It makes you human. What matters is what you do next… do you get stuck in that feeling or let it pass and keep moving forward?
I’m here for the chats. The direct ones, the awkward ones, and even the ones filled with sarcasm. Because I know underneath it all, you’re just trying to understand the world… and your place in it.
With love and reality checks,
Maa
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