K – Kindness vs. People Pleasing - Life with my Penguin

Dear Compassionate Penguin,

You, my curious one, have taught me a thing or two about kindness with a backbone.

You’ve always had this gentle instinct. Be it lifting a friend who tumbled during a game or noticing when someone’s had a rough day. But what surprises me, and honestly inspires me, is how clearly you draw your own lines. Like the time your classmate, who skipped class to chat and later trashed you behind your back, casually asked for your notes. And you, with your signature honesty, went “Yaar, not happening.”
Not dramatic. Not mean. Just real.

At your age, I would’ve said yes. Then sulked. Or fumed. Or cried alone, feeling used. I wanted to be liked so badly… by classmates, cousins, even relatives who made me feel less than.

I learned the hard way that giving in to everyone doesn’t earn you real love. It just teaches people how to take you for granted.

You already know what I took years to figure out. Guss that how you’re wired! Kindness is not about being a doormat in a polite outfit.

Like when you asked me why I don’t give money to beggars at traffic signals, but actively support education and shelter at the Ashram. That’s exactly it. Not all kindness looks the same. Sometimes, being kind is about doing the harder thing. Like saying “no” when it’s needed, or helping without expecting applause. It’s in the intention, not the performance.

You know, I think this story from our culture that fits. Lord Krishna, as a child, once offered food to Sudama, his childhood friend, even when Krishna was a king and Sudama arrived with nothing but flattened rice. It wasn’t about who was worthy or how others saw them. Krishna saw love, honesty, and goodness, and gave with full heart. But he also didn’t let himself be exploited by those who flattered him for favours.

He was generous, not gullible.

I hope you grow into that kind of kindness, warm, firm, and conscious.
Be like water, as we always say. Soft when needed, sharp when required, and impossible to ignore.

Sometimes I envy how easily you say “No”, even to me. And I laugh when I see you stick to your stance, while I’m over here extending deadlines for clients who think “friendly” means “forever available.”

Maybe you’ll teach me a lesson or two in people boundaries. Maybe we’ll both learn to balance kindness with courage, over and over again.

Just remember, my boy.