As a woman juggling both career and family, I often find myself in situations where my identity seems to fade into the background, overshadowed by the roles I play in the lives of others. This was glaringly noticeable during a recent encounter at my kids’ school, where despite my professional accomplishments, I was reduced to being referred to solely as “Penguin’s mom.” Yes, I do face an identity crisis. This incident, unfortunately, is not an isolated one but rather a reflection of a broader societal trend where a woman’s name, especially after marriage and children, is often ignored or forgotten.
In my dual role as the Head of Marketing at the craft-based design studio, BEADS, and leading a digital marketing team at MAS Digital, I’ve witnessed firsthand the struggles that women face in asserting their identities beyond the roles of wife and mother. Despite our achievements and contributions to various spheres, we often find ourselves relegated to the sidelines, our names replaced by the names of our spouses or children.
This phenomenon of identity crisis is not limited to a particular country or culture but transcends geographical boundaries, impacting women across the globe. Whether it’s in professional settings, social gatherings, or even within our own families, the erasure of our identities is a pervasive issue that demands attention.
But how do we combat this societal norm? How do we reclaim our identities and ensure that our names are not lost amidst the titles of wife and mother? How do we rise from this identity crisis?
“What matters most is not ‘what’ you are, but ‘who’ you are.”
― DaShanne Stokes
The answer lies in empowerment and self-advocacy. It’s imperative that we, as women, take ownership of our identities and refuse to be reduced to mere additions to our familial roles. We must actively assert ourselves in both professional and personal contexts, ensuring that our names are recognized and respected.
One way to do this is by actively correcting others when they overlook or misrepresent our identities. Instead of passively accepting being referred to as “so-and-so’s wife” or “such-and-such’s mom,” we must politely but firmly assert our names. By doing so, we not only assert our individuality but also challenge the ingrained societal norms that seek to diminish our worth to nothing more than our relationships to others.
Moreover, we must ensure that we receive due credit for our accomplishments and contributions. Whether it’s in the workplace or within our social circles, our names must be attached to our achievements, rather than being overshadowed by the names of others. This not only validates our efforts but also reinforces the importance of recognizing women as individuals with agency and autonomy.
Furthermore, we must lead by example, showing other women that it’s possible to break free from the confines of societal expectations and carve out our own identities. By sharing our experiences and advocating for change, we can inspire others to assert themselves and demand the recognition they deserve.
In essence, reclaiming our identities requires a conscious effort to assert ourselves, correct misconceptions, and demand recognition for our achievements. It’s a journey that may require perseverance and courage, but it’s essential for our empowerment and the empowerment of future generations of women.
So the next time you find yourself being referred to as “someone’s wife” or “someone’s mom,” remember that you are so much more than that.
You are an individual with your dreams, aspirations, and accomplishments. Own your identity, and never be afraid to remind others of who you are. After all, your name is worth remembering.
