Dear Penguin,
Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot of:
“I know, Maa.”
“Don’t tell me!”
“I want to do it my way.”
And my personal favorite:
“You’re not the boss of me!”
Oh kid, if only you knew how many people have wanted to shout the same thing to their bosses, their alarm clocks, or their responsibilities.
You’re growing. And with that growth comes a fire. A spark of independence that’s fierce, messy, and sometimes, utterly confusing for both of us. You want to try things your way. You want to decide when to sleep, what to eat, what to wear, what to watch, and how to feel about everything. I see you testing your voice, experimenting with power, and questioning the boundaries around you.
P.S. You were an independent toddler. But this tween phase is fierce.
I also see you struggling with how it feels to be caught in between childhood and adulthood.
You want freedom, but not always the responsibility.
You want space, but not silence.
You want control, but sometimes you still need help managing the emotions that come with it.
You’re not wrong for wanting any of it.
What you’re experiencing is the rise of your “self.” That’s big. Huge.
A mental and emotional growth spurt. You are figuring out who you are, what you believe, and what matters to you, not just what your parents or teachers say.
But, Penguin, here’s a secret…
Even grown-ups don’t always get it right. We, too, yell “you’re not the boss of me” inside our heads when life feels overwhelming. And sometimes, I fail. I yell back. I lose my patience.
We end up in a scream match instead of a conversation. Later, I feel awful and sit quietly near you, hoping we can just be okay again.
And other times? We do splendid. We talk. We listen. We even laugh after a long, cranky day.
In those moments, I learn that parenting is a dance. Sometimes I lead, sometimes you push back, and sometimes we trip over each other. But we’re still holding hands—figuring it out.
Your rebellion isn’t rejection. It’s growth.
Your sarcasm isn’t disrespect. It’s confusion in disguise.
Your “I don’t want to talk right now” isn’t distance. It’s a boundary you’re learning to set.
But let me say this again. Even when we fight. Even when I say no. Even when I look upset. I love you. And I’m always in your corner.
I want to be the kind of Maa who gives you space to be you, but also helps you recognize when your feelings are valid and when they’re just loud. I want to model that being strong also means saying sorry, asking for help, and staying kind.
So, the next time you shout “You’re not the boss of me!” I might just raise an eyebrow and say, “Good. Because I’m not your boss. I’m your Maa. And I’ll always have your back… even when I don’t agree with you.”
One day, when you look back, I hope you remember that your voice mattered at home. Even when it was cracking with puberty, frustration, or pride.
And when you face the world, may you always carry your self-worth, humour, and empathy like armour. Not just to protect yourself, but to protect others too.
Here’s to growing up, figuring it out, and occasionally yelling into a pillow instead of at each other.
Love always,
Maa
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