We moms swear by goodness of breastmilk. Even several studies conclude a mother’s milk is better than any available substitute in the market. Yet there is a common challenge that breastfeeding mothers face, other than medical challenges – the taboo of breastfeeding in public.
I remember all the times have fed my child, Penguin in public space. There were religious places, museums, all modes of transport, beaches, cinema hall, shopping center, restaurants. You name it if we have ever visited there during our breastfeeding time, high chance my child was fed there. During all this time period I was not trying to make a statement or anything remote. My child was hungry, and he was fed.
While my child was fed, I have often seen people, men, and women, getting uncomfortable. At times I was also left at a tight spot with constant glares and raised eyebrows. In a few weeks I development immunity to the latter group. However, there was another challenge too, getting a clean hygiene place to feed.
A personal story yet a common occurrence
Penguin was about 4 months old when we stepped outdoors for shopping. Till then he already had completed two travel journeys and was breastfed without a worry in train/car. Right in the middle of shopping, he felt hungry and the salesperson led me to a changing room to feed. Unfortunately, the room was hot, the fan wasn’t working and the floor was muddy. After trying for ten minutes we left shopping in between and rushed to breastfed in our car.
A few weeks later we met friends at a restaurant. The dim-lit place scared our child and no soothing words worked. Again, I found myself feeding my child in a closed hot cabin located at the rooftop. Though the baby was no longer wailing, I was not okay. The thought of hunting empty spaces, or requesting people to empty a cabin every time we step outdoors seemed daunting to me. The rest of the get together happened with baby latched to me and I sitting comfortably inside the restaurant.
Another time we were at a popular mall. However, I had already located a breastfeeding room on each floor and an additional one in a particular store. Hoping we were equipped with a feeding place we strolled around. As expected, baby Penguin got hungry and I moved towards the designated feeding room. I ran out of luck that day, the breastfeeding rooms of all three floors were locked. Frustrated I didn’t go to the last option of the store. That day for the first and last time my child was fed in a restroom.
According to a survey by Momspresso.com, only 6% of mothers find designated areas to comfortably breastfeed their children. Why are we not surprised?
For the next two and a half years, Penguin was fed whenever he needed or demanded breastmilk irrespective of place. We no longer went on searching for proper feeding places in public.
What stops mothers from breastfeeding in public?
Much before diving into the breastfeeding in public debate let’s think from a new mother’s perspective.
Regrettably, breasts are celebrated on entertainment screens, advertisements, beaches but things turn sour when the same breasts are used to feed in public. In a subconscious state, mothers do feel embarrassed or shy to nurse in public. As they tend to associate feeding the baby with sexual objectification of the female body part. It is common to find mothers who are asked to cover up while feeding or worse move to another spot. Nursing in public is often opposed stating indecency.
While there are movements like – World Breastfeeding Week run by World Alliance of Breastfeeding Action to protect, promote and support breastfeeding. Yet there is a regular outcry on breastfeeding in public.
A couple of years ago a mother in a Kolkata mall was asked to breastfeed at home as it was a “home chore”. The episode chagrined many mothers. In 2018 Malayalam magazine Grihalaxmi faced criticism for putting a nursing mother on cover and caption “Don’t stare; we need to breastfeed.”.
While one can argue about the ingrained indecent mindset and acceptance needed. Many women are also frightened of encountering perverts, staring eyes. Thinking out loud such people are present everywhere. A mother can’t stop feeding being scared of them.
The act of baby eating food through breastfeeding is unnecessarily exaggerated and put under the scanner. Just like grown-ups eat outdoors without earning glares, breastfeeding needs to be normalized.
It is a common sight where women working in the field would carry a baby in a sling and feed on demand. Thinking of that, India was always a breastfeeding-friendly nation until probably two generations ago.
Is breastfeeding in public legal in India?
In India, there is no law to prevent breastfeeding in public. However, there is no law so far to protect a women’s right to nurse her baby in public and private places.
Public breastfeeding is socially and legally accepted in many countries like Finland, Norway and U.S.A.
As a mother one should confidently nurse a child, even in public.
How to make breastfeeding in public easier?
Away from social taboo, embarrassment and preconceived notions a mother can breastfeed at easy and confidence.
Dress right
- Wear a nursing bra or tank.
While many choose to stick with pre-baby pattern bras and flip-up/pull-down while feeding. The bra loses support quickly in this way. Rather a nursing bra is specifically designed to fold a part of fabric without hurting the bra support.
- The 2-shirt nursing method.
This is a straightforward method to nurse in public. Sit in a relaxed position, pull up your top shirt and pull down your inner shirt. Latch the baby and you are sorted.
- Have a nursing friendly wardrobe
Button-down shirts, peasant blouses or wrap top make it easy to nurse. Other than these there are plenty of nursing kurtas available in the market that one can choose from. Traditional sarees also make breastfeeding quite laidback.
- Keep a scarf or nursing cover handy
Using a scarf/dupatta or nursing cover is a personal choice. Occasionally if there is not enough room for baby, there can be overheating. Be mindful while using one. It turns out quite versatile while flying. One can use as cover and later a baby blanket if it gets cold.
Wear your baby
As a mother who breastfed her child for over 2 and a half years, I highly recommend babywearing. A sling or an ergonomic baby carrier can make nursing in public awfully convenient. I have worn my baby to breastfeed while visiting museums or traveling on flights with ease.
Related –
Staying sane in first solo flight with baby
Stay informed about feeding places
While I had few bad experiences with feeding places/ nursing rooms initially. Soon I was fortunate enough to have plenty good ones as well. Most airports across the country have baby care rooms and comfy arrangement to nurse. Same goes with shopping malls and religious places. In case, if it’s unavailable be the badass and feed your baby.
Remember, breastfeeding is an earthy business. The more women come forward to breastfeed in public overcoming challenges, the quicker it would get normalized. A nursing mother never needs validation from others to feed a hungry child.
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Picture credit – Photo by Dave Clubb on Unsplash
Nice Thought,There is nothing as powerfull as mother’s love, and nothing as healing as a childs’s soul…
Breast feeding in public places is not a crime or taboo. As you said proper dressing can make this easy . Very beautifully you have put your opinion.
Thanks for visiting, Snigdha.
Breastfeeding is one of the most natural and beautiful aspect Of motherhood. Shaming it is so wrong and we must learn to accept it and normalise it. Loved the tips you shared for easy breastfeeding in public places
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Smita.
I find this to be more of an issue in our country than in others. indeed, dedicated public places is a must have and good to have a list handy.
i do hope that this will change though and the society will become more accepting and thus give mothers the space to take care of their child comfortably, even when out in the public.
Thanks for sharing your opinion, Ishieta.
That’s very thoughtful read. Women hesitate breastfeeding in public. This post is myth busters and informative
Thanks for reading!
Breastfeeding on pubic is not easy totally. My both kids did not use a bottle at all so I have to feed them. With proper preparations as you mentioned I feed them.
Thanks for sharing your experience Deepika.
Staying informed about the place and wearing the right clothing can avoid the stares. This is the taboo and woman has to break for the wellness of the child. Liked your suggestions in the post Pragnya.
One step at a time. Thank you for reading!
I really like the way you have addressed this topic and also shared to make it convenient for mothers as well as others. Breastfeeding in public is a personal choice and at times need, however, as moms we are prepared for both the situations. Very insightful.
Happy to hear your words, Dipika!
Breast feeding is a very important aspect to being a new mom. I agree with many of your points related to feeding baby in public. One should be aware of breast feeding rooms as they are now commonly found in malls etc.
A well-maintained feeding room is always helpful for breastfeeding parents and children.
Absolutely agree with you Pragnya, breastfeeding in public isnt taboo, with proper nurshing tops or cloth this is so easy. I have fed my son a lot in public, and nursing tops and baby wearing has always been helpful
High five to that Gunjan!
I absolutely agree with everything you have pointed out. Breastfeeding is the most beautiful and normal thing to do and why not in public.
High five to the thought, Harjeet Ji.
The stigma around breastfeeding in public is quite strange and uncalled for. We are only nurturing our children, just as nature intended us to! Lovely post!
Thanks for visiting 🙂
It is a task to breastfeed your little one in public in India and this thought comes from my experience so far. Gradually we all learn that breastfeeding our little one is natural and there is nothing much that you can do with the judging eyes of others. It is indeed important to normalize this 🙂
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Kavita. 🙂
During both my kids, breastfeeding in public was the most difficult thing to do. People stare as if they have seen a ghost. Thank you for this useful post. I will share it with new mothers in my circle.
Thanks for visiting 🙂
Definately Even India must bring a law to protect mothers & yes increase awareness on this topic in public domain . Surely this can’t be a taboo anymore
With you in this thought Jhilmil.
Your post has reminded me the time when I was first time mommy and we had done lots of travel with tiny girl . Like you I had also faced similar kind of situations..loved all the tips you had suggested. I think doing things right way always make path easier and regarding people’s comment or reactions, it is always best to ignored them .
Agree. A nuisance is best avoided. Thanks for visiting, Surbhi 🙂
I’ve gone through similar difficult experiences with my kids too. The way people stare lewdly made me want to punch them in the face. I wish there’s more openness about the fact that it’s just a baby having food!
Absolutely! Thanks for visiting.
It’s sad that something as natural as breastfeeding is considered a taboo and an embarrassing issue. I think, there is an urgent need to stop sexualising breastfeeding in any way so that a baby can be cared for in public and given the best possible start in life. It’s time to normalize breastfeeding in public, truly!
Thanks for sharing your views Shilpa. Agree with your each words 🙂
This is such an important topic which needed to be addressed. Thanks for sharing some valuable tips to make breast feeding easier in public. In India not many women are comfortable but we need to come out of this outlook.
Thanks for visiting, Swati 🙂
I really liked that you brought up this topic. It’s a big taboo and needs to be broken, as we elders can go out and eat, this is a little wonders meal and they have the right to have!!
Absolutely, Ruchi! Breastfeeding is just eating, as simple as that.
Hahaha I can totally high five this blog. i could feel the stares when I would breastfeed in public so casually that my friends would get stressed until I was done. It was a fun and rebellious time!
Good to read that, Cindy!
Nursing moms do not need any validation to feed their babies. That’s the bottom line. I agree, the staring eyes might get overwhelming to a new mom who is trying to get comfortable in breastfeeding her baby in public places. I liked the options that you have mentioned.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Alpana!
Nice read
Thank you.
Thanks for raising an important issue here. I remember myself hunting for places to feed my baby in. But slowly got a bit comfortable feeding in public places too. The biggest issue being a target for prying eyes….
Prying eyes do bother a breastfeeding mom. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Sakshi.