Aren’t parents under pressure today? Immense pressure. They have to balance work-life (family and self). Wondering why “self”, keep reading.
A new parent is learning walking on tight ropes. In the early years of parenting, parents feel overwhelmed on setting priorities. Nappy change, colic baby, fussy one, toddler’s emotions, and preschooler’s temperament. One phase at a time.
Being a parent changes few priorities in life and it demands a shift of focus from other activities. A “work-life balance” comes into scenario much bolder and bigger than before.
With parents going to do everything on their own and expect it with perfection is burning them out. Most parents are unsure about all tits and bits attached with a child in lap. They undergo little preparation for this lifechanging experience. Once the maternity and/or paternity leaves are exhausted the “work-life balancing” goes more challenging.
What is a work-life balance?
The dichotomy between work and play has been around since the 1800s. However, it was only during the 1970s and 1980s that the concept of a work-life balance was talked about.
Work-life balance is an important aspect of a healthy work environment. Maintaining a work-life balance helps reduce stress and helps prevent burnout in the workplace.
Also, allows investing quality time with self and family/friends.
Why do we work?
What a silly question! Of course, it’s for living. We have responsibilities, bills to pay, and some more.
An average Indian works 52 hours a week. Their counterpart millennial in working in China, Japan, USA, Canada and Australia clocks 48, 46, 45, 42 and 41 work hours per week respectively. Does that ring a bell? The average employed Indian woman worked 44.4 hours per week (in the April-June 2018 period) as against the developing country average of 35-36 hours, as per ILO estimates.
In a recent survey by Monster.com’s Understanding Work-Life Balance survey, over half of Indian professional (60%) rate their work-life balance as “average to terrible”. Nearly half of the professionals here have a family. Most of them are caregivers as a parent or have aging parents/relatives to care of.
Living in a patriarchy society where men contribute less than 20 minutes a day to household chores women are overburdened. It is a socially accepted norm in most households. Even with both spouses working, women end up doing most household chores. The scenario is changing slower than snail pace. Even when a man wants to help, he is clueless. He is raised as dependent being, instead of dependable. Giving today’s parent another reason to encourage independent human early in life, it is a life skill.
When a woman raises concern, she is suggested to seek a balance. In wrapped words – to quit a job or quit speaking. No wonder, the female labor force participation rate is having a sharp decline a historic low of 23.3% in recent times.
Where is the balance lost?
With a poor balance of work and life the employees face multiple penalties like health issues, drop in productivity, lower morale at work, emotional burden to point at some.
Is work-life balance of Indian parents a myth?
Measures were taken up by employers, employee and governing bodies so far have seen
- Flexitime
- Childcare near/at office
- Maternity leave: As per the Maternity Benefit (Amendment) Act of 2016, the maternity leave has been raised from 12 to 26 weeks.
- Paternity leave
- Adoption leave
- Work from home
Indian workforce also spends hours in commutation. Exhausting them to and fro the workplace. Moving home nearer to the office might be a hit or miss case. What if the other spouse’s office is far? Or the schools are not up to mark nearby? Healthcare facilities and recreation center. Before moving near the workplace, a lot of checklists has to be considered.
As technology enters the home, it blurs the segment of work and life more. The meeting, calls, and training after office hours training all add up to imbalance.
Even the boss’s attitude can impact the work-life balance deeply.
A study reveals that married women employees have Family Work Conflict (negative impact on work situation due to family) or Work-Family Conflict (negative impact on the family due to work). Factually parents suffer and have the guilt of balancing childcare and commitment at work. The emotional conflict hits both regardless of gender.
Kids, even in the early years to feel the absence of parents. For all-round development, children need warm, devoted attention and quality time with parents. Quality time, when they’re physically and emotionally present with the child. A work-life balance can help.
So, is there no solution for balancing?
Yes and no. Yes, because one defined solution won’t fit for all. No, as it does lie in our hands, major portion does if not all.
When we say work-life balance, we seek equilibrium. What if the solution lies at other points?
- Unplug. Segment work and life-based on flexible priorities. Remember the story of a man who used to hang his office bag and baggage at the door before he enters his home every evening. And switch when on urgent-important need
- Make your “Me” time – dedicate few minutes on personal growth. Starting with lowering the expectation bar of being the perfect parent.
- Create a support system that helps you strive. A modern village.
- Adopt Slow living.
How are children impacted by work-life balance?
We know every child get that undivided attention and care, especially during the early formidable years. They are not able to communicate needs or express emotions. They would like to talk about events at school or daycare or about friends.
If we as a parent are available to the child to encourage and express his day, the child feels secure, loved and safe. All the right reasons to drop everything and listen to them. A preoccupied parent might have a negative impact on the child, leading to question his self-worth and esteem.
What is slow living?
In layman words, living life to fullest at own’s pace, the right speed. Quality over quantity; real and meaningful human connections; being present and in the moment.
Slow parent term is evolving these days, where a child strives, struggle and learn, without a race. Something our ancestor did practice for long.
Do you have a ritual of balancing work and life with kid(s) around? Do share your thoughts.
This post is a part of the conversation about “Dilemma faced by modern parents in the early years of childhood”.
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I love the concept of slow living and setting priorities. Of course sometimes work will take importance but once needs to balance it out with dedicated self and family time. Life is not a competition to do everything but to enjoy what you do.
This is what we all are facing in our real life, especially for not getting support. An important topic to discuss on.
Having a support system can change our life. Thank you for stopping by Priyal
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You have written about a very important topic. We have to work , no option, but then how can we balance between work and life , answer of this question is your post
Actually there is no definite solution for this. I feel it is more of individualistic expectations and effort to have it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts Rajesh
Today it’s tough to get balanced life but if we plan we can achieve that!!
Glad to hear your optimistic words Ruchie.
Yess this is so truw! You explained it beautifully!
Thank you Vidhya
Loved your thoughts Pragnya… Work Life Balance is definitely a myth in India… Having said this…there is a significant increase in the gig economy especially women driving this to a great extent… Just hope that we as a nation can introduce more parent friendly work policies…. and build a stronger gerenatio of kids.
Kushal, in a recent study it was found that women are quitting work rapidly in India due to lack of support and friendly policies. A major portion women workforce constitutes of domestic helps. Imagine the future with a masculine workforce, back to square one.
Great theme, great post and great research Pragya..I always feel good when writer add scientific datas to post, it shows an auntheticity to her work. and you had done this thing so wonderfully. I know work life in India is really hard. I had lived in both countries, India and usa and I had observed this difference closely. indeed work life balance is a hard thing that requires so much planning and patience. #Surbhireads
I realized the work and life difference when I was an expat. People make time for health, family picnics, recreation and self care. Some thing that we have forgotten over years. Balancing is now such a tough job.
And Thank you Surbhi you saw the effort behind the article.
Work-life balance is definitely a myth in India…we Indians by nature are workaholics – so that just adds to the misery!
We Indians are workaholic is a mindset Janyathi. Other country people also work, but somewhere they focus on living life and family more than us.
In my opinion, managing work with family is tough for parents but harder for woman.
No deny in that. Our next gen-men need to learn and unlearn many things. Let’s start that from home, few chores sharing. Thanks Trapti.
This is such a tough ask especially for single parents like me
Hats off to all single parents. You folks are awesome raising humans.
Life has become so fast, sometimes we don’t realize when a day begins and ends. It gets scary. We work to earn, but do we really live? It is such a complex topic and as you said same solutions don’t work for all. A very detailed post Pragnya 🙂
Many people never get a chance to watch and praise sunrise or sunset with their busy schedule. when do we live then, Leha? Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
This is very really unique helpful information. keep it up. Thank you so much!
Humbled with your kind words Martina.
You have written on a topic which is much needed in today’s life. And the best thing is your style of writing is commendable. Yes, it is very difficult to maintain balance. Liked your perspective & thoughts!
An insightful post Pragnya. Indians especially Indian women find it difficult to manage work-life balance and most of the problems begin here.
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Indian men are raised in way to never lift a finger at home. Things are changing, but still in major household women do all the work. In order to balance they burn out.
Thank you Srishti, your words made my weekend great.
That’s true and I agree that a little support can do wonders. Very well written and loved your perspective.
Glad our thoughts agree here Rashi 🙂
As always Pragnya apne dil ki baat likh di
Yeh in current scenario things getting harder and harder
But as we adapting it, it is adapting us.
Well said Anurag. We are creating new environment and struggling to fit in.
Another thoughtful article from you. I think if we have support in the form of a family or extended family, balance is somewhat a reality. Similarly, if q company believes in flexibility at work place, maintaining an equilibrium is doable. Very insightful post.
A supporting family or healthy support system and flexible workplace do have power to turn this into reality.
It is definitely difficult to achieve a week life balance.
After being a mother it became so tough for me. This was quite an insightful post
Thanks for reading Preetjyot
This is a very insightful and thought provoking article Pragnya. I liked your perspective on the topic!
Thank you Prerna. Glad to hear your words.
Beautifuly put it out in words with all the facts. It’s something most of us are facing now, specially with very less support.
True Snigdha without support the situation becomes too much to handle.
Hi, you have dealt very well and put forward a balanced view on work-life balance. I believe,we, ourselves are responsible for a large part of the imbalance that creeps in our life. Without going into a gender specific view of the issue, a more holistic view of things would immensely help us balance our lives, like a little brooding over our lifestyle, our expectations, our parenting style and so on. Overall, it’s a thorough researched post and a must read on the topic. Good job done 🙂
Yes, the struggle to balance everything and have perfection is something we brought in our life. Thank you for re-visiting Narinder. I hope to see you often 🙂
I really liked the topic you have selected for this post. A convenient one, and every thoughts of you are something to be concerned very carefully. Really liked the style of your writing, as I always do!
Thank you Swarnali it means a lot. Hope you revisit the page soon.
Surely!! 🙂
Absolutely, it is so difficult to achieve the work-life balance. And, you written it with such clarity and in an interesting way.
Thank you Ninu. I faced this challenge and know the effects hence thought of speaking it out.